I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
