you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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