Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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