can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
