Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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