carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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