Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
