Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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