i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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