Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
