doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Porn is love you can see.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
