Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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