Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
