the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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