Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you will always have a special place in my vag
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
