How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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