that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Randomize
