It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
