Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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