So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
