Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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