So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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