Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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