I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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