I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
