dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My ATM looks so different sober.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
