if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
