She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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