Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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