I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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