no you cant smoke seaweed
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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