The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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