whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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