She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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