what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
