that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
