Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
