And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
