My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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