Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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