Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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