come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
