My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
me + whiskey = a bad person
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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