So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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