She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just threw up on my dentist
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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