I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
