watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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