I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
