could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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