then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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